We Dodge’d a bullet
Dodge Joseph Romans
November 10, 2009, 7:46 pm
9 pounds, 6 ounces, 21 inches
born on I-64 and Glenside in the ambulance!
Usually when I tell my friends my drama, I make it the “no holds barred” version. Since I’ll be sending this out to those much more refined then me (hi mom!), I’ll try to keep it around PG-13.
**If you want the unedited version, call me in 2-4 weeks!
So here’s the story . . .
I wanted to have a natural birth and in the end I got what I wanted. And I’ll never have an epidural again, I feel so much better this time and Dodge is much more alert then my other babies. This time around, my labor and delivery were MUCH different then my other three. And somewhere out there, are three EMT’s – Bryan, “Blue” and “Bucket” – who think they are total studs, and they are.
I was due on Wednesday, November 11 – light labor started on Monday night and lasted about 24 hours. My heavy labor lasted five seconds before I felt the urge to push. In the past, I’ve woken up early in the morning in labor, headed to the hospital, got my epidural and several hours later had my baby! Not this time.
My friend and doula (and lawyer, so don’t mess) Pam came over Tuesday afternoon and we took a long walk with some contractions going on. We even took a walk and labored around Whole Foods – they should seriously give me a gift card cuz there’s nothing more “Whole” then having contractions down their homeopathy aisle.
At about 7 pm that night, my contractions weren’t that close together and I was handling them well, while watching the Best Two Years, so I decided to get in the tub. We didn’t feel like it was time to head for the hospital yet – my contractions were bearable and somewhat spaced out. Right after I got out of the tub, I had the MOTHER of all contractions and my water barely broke. Immediately after, I felt the urge to push.
Now, let me tell you a little somethin’ somethin’ – if you’ve never felt that urge to push that comes with a natural labor, you are missing out! It’s like a freight train running through your insides, in a good kinda way. Now, try having to hold that freight train in, good luck! So my water breaks and immediately I have to push. We jump in the van (well I didn’t jump in, I was trying to keep my legs together) and Pam is telling me to pant like a dog! I’ve never panted before but OH MY GOSH I was trying. We get out of the neighborhood and I told them I wasn’t going to make it to the hospital and I was NOT going to have the baby in my mini-van grocery grabber! We head back home and on the way Denton calls 9-1-1. Pam and Denton try to get me out of the van but I’ve cemented my legs together to keep the baby from coming out and I’m panting my face off. We finally get into the house, Pam has towels on the floor and I’m yelling that I have to push!
Can you even IMAGINE what those EMT’s saw when they walked into my house! HAHAHAHA! I can laugh about it now cuz at that time I didn’t care that they were cute and seeing all my business while I was screaming that I had to push in between panting. They checked me out and I thought FOR SURE the baby was well on its way out. They thought at first that I had a prolapsed cord (umbilical cord presenting before the baby’s head) which would have been a huge problem, but then they figured out it was just mucus (sorry for you queasy ones out there). I wanted to push SO BAD and just have him in the living room, but the EMT’s wanted to transfer me. So they got me on the stretcher (I have no idea how) and into the back of the ambulance. Poor Denton had to sit in the front and Pam followed us in the van.
Now, here’s the best part of the story….
So I’m in the back of the ambulance with three cute guys my age (at that time I didn’t notice or care), my pants are off, I’m panting like a mad dog, and yelling at the them to let me push. I have two EMT’s in a death-grip on their knees, one is telling me that I have to let go of his knee so he can put an I.V. in. So I let go and clamp down on his arm, that’s what you get! Another guy is at the foot of the gurney, standing up and holding onto some handle in the ceiling, all the while losing his balance while we drive down I-64 thru the pouring rain. I’m panting, trying to keep the baby inside, closing my eyes, and asking the boys to PLEASE let me push! At this time, it’s kind of an out-of-body experience. FINALLY after 45 minutes of keeping the freight train from exploding out of me, Dodge Joseph Romans is born in the back of the ambulance at 7:46 pm on I-64 and Glenside. And that was the greatest feeling of relief I’ve ever had in my whole life.
I’m in a euphoric state of shock but I heard Dodge cry right away so I knew he was OK. They immediately put Dodge on my chest, pull the ambulance over, and Denton gets to come in the back and cut the cord. I release my death-grip from the other EMT’s and they all breathe a sigh of relief. I bet they had beers over this one that night. We head to the hospital and Labor and Delivery but they won’t let us in because they had had 18 births that night and “no room in the inn!” They took us down to the ER where we were fixed up right away. The EMT’s told us their names and said they would be happy if we wanted to use them for the baby. Thanks, but no thanks cuz you made me wait to push punks.
So in the end, it all worked out. We got a healthy 9 pound 6 ounce baby, a natural birth, and I didn’t have to labor in the hospital hooked up to monitors and IV’s. We just went about it a totally different way. Did you expect anything different? Cuz if you knew us, you wouldn’t.
HML said,
November 14, 2009 @ 10:49 pm
OH MY HELL I AM FARTING ALL OVER AMERICA READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GINA, A. I am so glad you got what you wanted & it turned out OK! B. I am glad you didn’t have it in your mini van b/c can you even imagine having to clean that & then have the residual smells? Nasty CO CHASTY! C. Dodge is SO ADORABLE & I want to hold him right this second & then eat all 9+ freaking pounds of him! He is a giant & so cute!
I can only imagine trying to hold a freight train in my uterass! I’m impressed you made it as long as you did! WOW! So, for my next baby I am calling you every day to try to have a similar experience….minus the ambulance & having it on the freeway.:) I love you & I am so happy all went so well!!!!!! Rest up & enjoy your doulah!!!! LUCKY!!!
Marissa said,
November 14, 2009 @ 10:55 pm
GINA - I love it that you are the first person to leave a comment, it couldn’t be any other way. mimi cochimi is here, we’ll talk SOON!
Laurene L Lewis Ross said,
November 14, 2009 @ 11:29 pm
Sammy- You are my hero! I would never have the strength to hold him in. { Must be all those kigels you do….HEE, Hee!} I am glad you are okay and not going through post tramatic ambulance cute boy syndrome.
Dodge is a super chunkey monkey boy! I wish I could have you tell this story in person so I could get the full 3-D effect.
You rock the casba!
Peace out-MICK!
Melanie said,
November 15, 2009 @ 12:35 am
Marissa! I miss the way you tell stories…oh my gosh, I was laughing so hard! I’m glad everything turned out and Dodge is so dang cute (all your kids are)!
Ashlee said,
November 15, 2009 @ 12:36 am
Okay, seriously, dido to Laurene in I would die to hear this story in person and 3-D effects. I just know we would be laughing our heads off. What an awesome story, lucky Dodge he has one of the best delivery stories. He is so adorable. I didn’t know you were wanting to have this one all natural, you are awesome, especially 9lbs and resisting the urge to push for that long. Way to go! We miss you guys and glad to hear he is here.
megan andros williams said,
November 15, 2009 @ 1:10 am
i’ve had two of mine all natural, water births, midwfe. loved it! i agree, there is NO WAY on earth than i can stop pushing (which in my case results in lots of tearing) Cuz i push my huge headed children out FAST.
so proud of you. natural birth is a big accomplishment and the euphoria is amazing.
suzie romans said,
November 15, 2009 @ 1:18 am
Okay Rissy…everyone has been asking me the scoop. I say be patient and it will be on your blog soon. After I read it, I laughed my head off with all the verbs and funnyisms. When I told the brief version to someone, it was PALE in comparison.
I would have liked to hear it all in person too. Maybe someday you and Pam can reenact it at recipe Club or some other party.
I like Pam as the lawyer dulah molly mormon catholic. xoxoxo
Angela said,
November 15, 2009 @ 1:31 am
Holy Cow Marissa! That is such a crazy story! I am dying right now!! I’m glad you made it through freezer! Wow, I can’t belive that happened to you. Nothin’ like my 3rd and I’m in full labor and the hospital was pretty far and we had NO gas in the car. Brett had to stop and get gas on the way to the hospital and we were freaking out because we didn’t know which side the gas tank was on! I was afraid to have the baby in the Volkswagen. You don’t hear about your kind of birth too often! Way to go natural…I had 3 of mine that way and 2 w/ a doula (love a doula)…hard but rewarding to “feel it all.” I would love to talk when you feel up to it. Take care! Love you!!!!!
Heather Peck said,
November 15, 2009 @ 7:13 am
While Reading your Birthing story. Im laughing and getting anxiety all over thinking about if we should have another. That’s some story and a great name. Glad he is home safe.
Pam said,
November 15, 2009 @ 8:28 am
MARISSA!!! I am totally printing this out and framing it - my first ALMOST home birth!!!
I love you so much - you are the strongest and most wonderful woman in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!
Pam, Friend, Doula and Lawyer
Pam said,
November 15, 2009 @ 8:32 am
P.S. THANK YOU for letting me be a part of this wonderful birth!
Nikki Kitchen said,
November 15, 2009 @ 9:05 am
Okay so that is the best birth story ever.! It sure beats mine, Our baby was born the very next day 11-11. Induced, but natural so I know the feeling of needing that baby to come out NOW!! I will tell you there were a ton of babies being born, I told Dave it was from all that Valentine lovin. Congratulations on the birth of Dodge! he is a cutie.
Demetra said,
November 15, 2009 @ 4:33 pm
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I thought about you guys the other day. I was wondering if you guys had the baby yet. 11/10 is Sydney’s birthday as well. Your story was hilarious, as usual. What a wonderful Thanksgiving gift.
Tara said,
November 15, 2009 @ 5:17 pm
Congratulations! What a great story and cute Baby! You are amazing…I agree, having that baby in your mini van would have been terrible, not to mention more work for you to get it all cleaned up. I hope everyone is doing well and that your enjoying this new little one!
Kim said,
November 15, 2009 @ 6:46 pm
Oh my, what an awesome birth. I have a friend who had her baby on her stairs a couple of months ago, CRAZY!
This is why I have had 3 homebirths also. I can’t imagine not being able to push when I feel like it. You’re right, it is a freight train.
He is a doll, congrats Mama! Enjoy your babymoon!!
Kim Owens said,
November 15, 2009 @ 7:39 pm
This was sooooo you….. I wouldn’t have expected anythiless. Wow, I bet you saved a lot on medical expenses - hahaha!
We are very proud of you and he is beautiful. Wish you well.
If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to call me. I am home during the day.
Love ya.
Kim
Heather Cole-Church said,
November 16, 2009 @ 12:08 am
HI! Just wanted to say that I LOVED the post about the baby being born. I’ve read about the Ardvark Valentine from another of your blogger buddies (Carrie Rhodes) and went to see it for myself (on your blog) and then I read today that her friend, you, had had a baby on the freeway within an ambulance…. (not realizing that you were the one with the Ardvark Valentine) I just HAD to see how this played out! It was hilarious! I hope you had a good time and that baby is sure CUTE! I had a lot of fun reading about it.
Jan - yo ghetto sista said,
November 16, 2009 @ 7:41 am
Marissa and Denton - congratulations! I wouldn’t expect anything different from you! That is the greatest labor story EVER! Dodge is so adorable (love the name as well!)
Hugs and kisses to you all. Miss you so much……….xoxoxo
I will have a slice of pizza @ Costco in you honor and celebrate!
Rory said,
November 16, 2009 @ 11:34 am
Wow Riss, you inspired even more to get an EMT job…just not anywhere near where any of my sisters live.
Dani said,
November 16, 2009 @ 2:21 pm
Wow. So next time, you will definitely be delivering in the living room!
Pam said,
November 16, 2009 @ 11:36 pm
Yes, next time Marissa will DEFINITELY be delivering in the living room!!
danae dean said,
November 17, 2009 @ 1:55 am
my comment just got deleted!!?!? anyway..i love the story!!! you are the best…and my hubby and i love your kids names:) CONGRATS!
Angela said,
November 17, 2009 @ 11:31 am
Like I said before…..TLC will definitely come calling now! Your birth story (experience) was amazing. Sure beats being hooked up to all of those machines huh? I’m glad you are okay! Baby Dodge is absolutely beautiful. This post has got to be the BEST blog post of the YEAR! P.S. I love the name you picked! I’m always very excited to hear what you two decide on.
leslie graff said,
November 18, 2009 @ 6:17 pm
great story marissa- and he is absolutely darling- nice intersection for you birth- LOL
nkese said,
November 18, 2009 @ 9:06 pm
You did it again! Now that sounds exciting! I went into labor at work and everyone thought I was going to have the baby there, but that didn’t happen thank goodness. I can’t imagine having people at work that you have to see again all up in my personal beezneez! Anyway that is so typical of you and Denton. Do you guys do anything like normal people?! Congrats I am so happy for you guys. Now you will have to get preggers again so you guys can get Leo a sister. You’ll have to tell me how you came up with his name at a later date.
Katie Harrison said,
November 28, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
Oh. my. golly. Laughing my white booty off over here. Love you. Glad you guys are safe & well & happy!
KaLisi said,
December 2, 2009 @ 10:16 pm
I just barely read this… and I’m sore from being so tense. quite a story!!! GOOD JOB!!!